Everyone knows that a relationship, any relationship, is a living thing. It grows and changes as the people in it grow and change. All relationships evolve over time. Some of them grow stronger and deeper through good and bad shared and individual experiences. And some of them cool and become casual acquaintances.
Marriage is especially tricky to navigate because it has such far reaching effects. Marriage is never just about the two people making the vows. And that's part of what makes it so damned hard. Knowing that there isn't an easy way out when the going gets tough. With marriage there are other considerations.
And the going WILL get tough. In fact, there are days when staying married seems impossible. And there are days when you loathe your spouse more than any other person on the planet.
Husbands and wives, no matter how much they love and respect each other are going to grow and change as individuals. You are not going to be the same person at 30 that you were when you got married at 25. Or 19. Or 35. And you're not going to be the same person five or ten years down the road at 40 or 50. And so at some point you're going to wake up one morning hardly knowing yourself and lying next to a virtual stranger.
So you're faced with a choice: stay together and put in the hard work and effort to try and make things work as the people you are today. Or give up and walk away.
In all fairness, divorce is probably the easier option in many cases. Because working it out is HARD. And it hurts.
With all of that in mind, we have decided within our own marriage to write a new story. It hasn't been easy getting to this point and I don't expect it to be easy simply because we've made this decision. But starting now, we start fresh. In the absence of being able to have a new wedding and recommit to one another with new vows, we decided that the best way to really symbolize our new relationship was with new wedding rings. Of course with the rings, come new promises to one another and new hope for a bright future.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Oh my children are absolute geniuses! How on earth did they pick out the perfect purse and shoes for me? He he he... Okay, I may have steered them in the right direction by ordered the items I wanted online myself, but still they were my presents from the kids.
And a rose gold and diamond ring.
And rose gold earrings to match the ring.
And a rose gold and diamond necklace to match the ring and earrings.
Check out that rainbow cake.
So after breakfast and presents, we went out to sight see. Our first stop was the Mt. Moriah Cemetery. We went there of course to see where Wild Bill Hickok and Calamity Jane are buried, but it turned out to be a really cool cemetery for many reasons, not the least of which is because it's in a great location on the side of the mountain. Sure they must spend a fortune in retaining walls, but still, it was very cool.
It's the only cemetery I've ever paid to get into but it was only $1 for adults, so worth the price of admission. And sure enough, they're neighbors in death.
The story Calamity Jane told was that she and Wild Bill were lovers, but historians and accounts from people who knew her differ. Most say that she carried a torch for him, but they were never more than acquaintances or perhaps casual friends. The truth is, Wild Bill was shot less than a month after arriving in Deadwood on the same coach as Calamity so they likely wouldn't have had time to develop any sort of attachment even if he had reciprocated her feelings. Most of the people who've done the research say that Hickok was a very handsome man who had his pick of the women around him and preferred the soft feminine type, which Calamity Jane decidedly was not. (In fact there are accounts that say she tried prostitution but couldn't make a living at that because of her lack of feminine charm.) By the time he came to Deadwood, Hickok was newly married to a lovely young woman named Alice who, by all accounts, he adored. He'd left her behind in Cheyenne to seek his fortune in Deadwood.
And the cheesecake did not disappoint. After devouring two slices at lunch, we ordered two more to go so we could enjoy them later in the day. After lunch we walked down to the 4 Aces Casino to see the shootout.
And this time we finally found someone to take a family picture.
It was definitely a fun weekend, but completely exhausting.