Monday, June 11, 2012

Yeah. I'm Awesome.

CAUTION:  Reading the following post may cause you to reflect on your own awesomeness and want to tell the world about it!

Maybe I'm the only person in the world who gets this way, but I find that there are times in my life when I just need to remind myself how awesome I really am!  I'm actually not joking when I say that.  Nor am I being egotistical or cocky.  I am, in most instances, a fairly confident person and comfortable with who I am.  However, there are low moments in every life.  And I am right now at a juncture where I just need a reminder of some of the great things about me.  It's an exercise a lot like counting my blessings.  (Because it's impossible to be unhappy when you're counting your blessings.)  But instead of just counting all the random little things in my life that I'm grateful I've been blessed with, I focus on the good things about myself that I'm grateful to have been blessed with. I used to write this kind of thing my journal, but since starting a blog, the journal is something I've unfortunately neglected.  So instead of musing privately over how cool I am and writing it down to boost my own confidence, the rest of the world now gets to be subjected to the rambling thoughts buzzing around in my head tonight.  Because I know I won't be able to sleep until I release some of this and try to make sense of it. 

I am strong.  Mentally, physically, emotionally.  I am strong. I am Super Woman.  I sometimes forget that when I see other people who seem to be handling much bigger trials than my own.  I see them struggling and fighting and pushing back against everything devastating in this world.  Disease, natural disasters, poverty, divorce, death and so much more.  It's almost not fair that I haven't had to deal with the "hard" things that life throws at you.  And yet I know I'm strong.  I can handle "hard" things.  In fact, I'm good at it.  I am Grace under Pressure and the Voice of Reason amidst Chaos. (No one needs to know that the source of my superpower is the good dark chocolate hidden away in the bottom drawer of my jewelry armoire.) And even though it might annoy other people to have to admit it, I'm right at least 90% of the time.  And I'm getting better at acknowledging the few times when I'm wrong.  Although being "right" all the time, is becoming less and less important in my life.

I do not just Survive my own life.  I Attack it.  And make the most of it.  I don't wait for "things to get better" before I allow myself to be happy.  I make things better and choose to find things to be Positive about in every situation.  I have Flaws, but I'm not Damaged.  I don't Break Easily.  I'm Honest.  Sometimes Brutally so. (Except about my age.  I don't ever like admittting how old I really am. But in truth, the only person I lie to about my age is myself.  I'll say the number outloud, "I'm 34."  But in my mind I'm always thinking, "But I look, act and feel 27." Admittedly, this is one of my previously referenced flaws. But this post is about strengths, not flaws, so we'll table that discussion for another day.)

I'm Self-Motivated, Disciplined and Persistant.  I don't give up when things get hard.  So even though I'm nervous I can say with confidence, Bring on the Hills.  I'll climb them.  (Okay so if you haven't guessed by now, I'm nervous about the upcoming Wasatch Back and the 2000+ feet of climbing I get to do over the course of my miles.)  I finish what I start, even if it takes me longer than I want it to.  (Hence going back to school after 15 years. Which by the way, I'm terrified about.)  I don't let my fears rule me.  I rule my fears by facing them.  (Except for snakes, but again that's a flaw and we're not focusing on those today.)

Most importantly I've been greatly Blessed by a loving Heavenly Father who I'm so grateful to have a personal relationship with. I've been given so much more than I deserve. A wonderful family, loyal friends and a million reasons to be thankful.  There is an abundance of love in my life. And that's the real source of my super power.  I can joke all I want about it being the chocolate, the diet coke, the miles I run.  But I know where it really comes from.  I know I'm nothing without the people in my life that the Lord has seen fit to bless me with.  And a heart overflowing with love, is definitely the awesomest thing about me. ;)


Hillary and Jake said...

See when I try to tell Jake how awesome I am he tells me to stop being so cocky, and that I will never be able to add humility to that long list of things I'm good at.

Cali and Travis said...

Well Ruthie, next time he says that, just tell him that you're not being cocky. You're just counting your blessings. :)

Jacob and Cami said...

Sweet, Now I know where you hide the dark chocolate!

Darryl and Cindy Cunningham said...

I've have known you were awesome since the day you were born. I just didn't know where you were hiding the dark chocolate.