Friday, December 19, 2014

Same Spouse. Different Story.

Everyone knows that a relationship, any relationship, is a living thing.  It grows and changes as the people in it grow and change.  All relationships evolve over time.  Some of them grow stronger and deeper through good and bad shared and individual experiences.  And some of them cool and become casual acquaintances.

Marriage is especially tricky to navigate because it has such far reaching effects. Marriage is never just about the two people making the vows.  And that's part of what makes it so damned hard.  Knowing that there isn't an easy way out when the going gets tough.  With marriage there are other considerations.

And the going WILL get tough.  In fact, there are days when staying married seems impossible.  And there are days when you loathe your spouse more than any other person on the planet. 

Husbands and wives, no matter how much they love and respect each other are going to grow and change as individuals.  You are not going to be the same person at 30 that you were when you got married at 25. Or 19.  Or 35.  And you're not going to be the same person five or ten years down the road at 40 or 50.  And so at some point you're going to wake up one morning hardly knowing yourself and lying next to a virtual stranger.

So you're faced with a choice: stay together and put in the hard work and effort to try and make things work as the people you are today.  Or give up and walk away.

In all fairness, divorce is probably the easier option in many cases. Because working it out is HARD.  And it hurts.

With all of that in mind, we have decided within our own marriage to write a new story.  It hasn't been easy getting to this point and I don't expect it to be easy simply because we've made this decision.  But starting now, we start fresh.  In the absence of being able to have a new wedding and recommit to one another with new vows, we decided that the best way to really symbolize our new relationship was with new wedding rings.  Of course with the rings, come new promises to one another and new hope for a bright future.


Mostly Jessica said...

I haven't checked blogs in years, so first hello! Thanks for the Christmas card. We are lame and didn't send any this year. But Merry Christmas; late.
This post rings true for us also and I'm glad to say we've come to the same conclusion. As Sherry Dew says, "If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard."

Jacob and Cami said...

I love you're rings and you're dedication to making things work and getting what you want out of life!

Darryl and Cindy Cunningham said...

I am proud of you two and want you to know how much I love you and pray for you. (And I love your new rings!)