Saturday, October 8, 2011
Why Never to Hold on to FAT Pants!
So the one thing I haven't really blogged about in any detail so far has been my weight loss. I know I've made a few mentions of it in quick comments and posted a few pictures but tonight I feel the urge to share a little bit of this journey.
The breaking point for me came this past May. When I couldn't button up my "fat" pants. Well that's not true. I could button them, but they were so tight & uncomfortable that I didn't want to wear them. I was suddenly faced with a choice: Lose weight or buy bigger pants. For the last decade, I'd done the latter. I didn't just wake up one morning 50 pounds overweight. It took nine years and in that period of time there were a lot of ups and downs.
The first time I bought bigger pants was the summer after our wedding. It only took me about 3 months of being a happy newlywed to put on around 10 pounds, but I didn't stress too much about it, because I had a new husband who loved me and couldn't resist me regardless. The following winter saw something of an ugly meltdown in a dressing room at JC Penney when the size I thought I wore wouldn't button up. At that point Travis swore he'd never go shopping with me ever again and my mother-in-law tried to make it all okay by buying not only the pants in the bigger size, but a top, shoes and a new dress for me. She insisted I still looked fine and underlined that by spending money.
And the next 8 years were a yo-yo. I'd put on weight, get frustrated, diet or workout, lose a few pounds and start to feel better and then plateau for a while. Until I packed on a few pounds again and inevitably bought pants in a bigger size. And then this past winter I finally had enough. I was absolutely not willing to buy pants in a bigger size. No thank you!
Running gave me added motivation. I was tired of people being surprised that I'm a runner, they were shocked that I run regularly and run the long distances that I do. And frankly even though I know I'll never be fast, I was tired of being just another chubby girl at the back of the pack. (I'd so much rather be a lean and fit girl at the back of the pack.)
So I went to Weight Watchers. I just didn't know what else to do. I've tried every other diet in the world and the work outs alone weren't getting the job done. I asked around and a good friend (who's had phenomenal success on Weight Watchers) steered me that direction. I'll admit I was skeptical. Weight Watchers is for old people right?
But the end results don't lie. And clearly it works. The plan is easy. And the best part about it is that I don't feel like I'm on a diet. I don't deprive myself of anything that I really want. It's great because I honestly feel like I can live like this for the rest of my life. If I go to a party I have a slice of cake. If I want a cookie, I eat a cookie. I won't go into too much detail about the program other than to say that I can't see myself doing anything else. It's easy and it works. I think I'm living proof of that.
Or rather the 32 pounds I've lost so far are proof of that.
As you can imagine with 32 pounds, I've lost quite a few sizes along the way. Only this time, I started chucking clothes as soon as they became too big. It's true, I've spent more money on clothes this summer than ever in my life (although I've also learned to be quite the bargain shopper, thank you Ross Dress for Less!) But there's a kind of perverse pleasure in realizing that pants you bought in June, are too big in August. (I relished giving them away!) One of the best motivators to stay on the plan and keep working hard has been knowing that I can't let myself get big again. I don't have any clothes that would fit me anymore if I did. It takes away the comfort of knowing that it's okay if I put a few pounds back on. I can't get comfortable. At least not yet. And even when I get to my ideal weight I'll have to guard against putting weight back on because I won't have any fat pants hiding in the back of the closet. :)