A Birthday and a BIRTHday!

Parker got more presents today. Didn't I tell you I had super talented friends! And these came with a blanket for the car seat and a handmade hooded towel! JeNae you're awesome! Thank you so much!

I pretty much spent the day pacing and compulsively checking my phone for updates from the hospital. I was practically climbing the walls if you want to know the truth! Unfortunately things were progressing very slowly. But we went out to dinner tonight, then came home with the rest of the family for cake and presents.

Gideon was so thrilled, I'm sure he thought the party was for him. (Because when you're two you tend to think every party is for you, right?

At any rate he helped me blow out the candles. And open presents. I got a set of china from my parents that used to belong to my great-grandmother (who would be turning 110 years old on Wednesday if she hadn't died 20 years ago.) So that was cool. I also got a bottle of perfume and some new clothes. All in all a good birthday.

While everyone was over and we were celebrating we got the message that Parker was born at 8:25 pm. She was 6 lbs 13 oz and they said to come on down for a visit. We promptly kissed Gideon goodbye and ran out on the party! We got to the hospital a little after nine (she wasn't even an hour old yet!) And the first thing the nurse did was make us a duplicate set of prints! YAY!

And here she is! The best birthday present EVER!!!!! Miss Parker Holland herself. She does have some dark hair, but at this point she hadn't even been washed yet, so we don't know for sure how long she is or anything.

She is gorgeous and bright-eyed, just like her big brother was!

The birthday girls!

I think daddy was just a little bit afraid he'd break her because she's so tiny. I'm sure he'll get used to her.

Anyway, we stayed at the hospital for about 45 minutes and then decided to go home so they could all get some rest. (I'm doubtful if I'll get any sleep tonight, but hey, as my dad always says "No rest for the wicked and the righteous don't need it.") We're going back up to visit again tomorrow afternoon. As of right now we're planning on placement happening Wednesday morning. That's when they should be released from the hospital. I'll be sure and post more tomorrow when we know more!

My Last Birthday

So tomorrow will be my last birthday. It's not because I'm getting older (although I certainly wouldn't mind freezing right here.) See two years ago on my birthday, Gideon officially became part of our family when he was sealed to us. Now, tomorrow, on my birthday, our daughter will be born. (At least that's the plan anyway. We found out the other day that they're scheduled to induce B. first thing in the morning.)

Anyway, how do you top that!?!?!?!?! I mean seriously, the two greatest gifts EVER on my birthday! There's no reason to ever have another one. I already have everything I've ever wanted.

Are your friends this talented?

I seriously have the most talented friends ever! Look at what cute stuff Parker got in the mail this week! All handmade with love by a dear friend. Ashley, you're a rock star! Love you guys and thanks so much!

Parker got Presents!

So a week before she's even due & Parker got a haul! We got two special packages in the mail yesterday. The first was from Grandma Peggy.

Seriously, my 84 year old grandmother cross-stitched this blanket for her. She does one for every great-grandchild. I love this woman for oh so many reasons.

The other package was from my sister Cami, (Aunt Mimi to all her nieces and nephews.)
Aren't these the cutest onesies ever! And look! Ruffles on the butt! I so am loving this girly stuff!

Cami makes lots of hairbows and flowers and clips. Some of them blend in with the table so you can't see them very well, but trust me, they're all adorable!

My very favorite though, are the Aloha dresses. I sent her a couple of Trav's old Hawaiin shirst (don't worry honey, I only sent the ones you don't wear anymore) and voila! We now have two little sundresses (with matching hair bows!) Seriously could they be any cuter!?!?!

Finished!

Back in April I posted pictures of the new blanket I was making as a gift for B. Thanks to my mom it's finally done! We put minkee on the back so that it would be super soft to curl up with. I think it turned out pretty cute!

Good Morning Starshine...

...The World Says Hello!

Am I Ready For This?

As I sit here tonight, two weeks away from the due date of our baby girl, I find myself increasingly restless. I don't know what it's like to go through the stages of a normal pregnancy, but I've heard of things like "nesting." I can't say I'm really feeling that right now, although I have started to try and get my house cleaned up and keep it clean (not an easy task with a very active 2 year old running around, but I'm making the effort anyway.)

With Travis far away, basketball season two months off and my normal distractions (running, reading, watching old movies) not really working, I find myself worrying more and more each day about weather I'm ready for this upcoming challenge. I'm not talking about having a new baby. I feel fairly confident that I can handle that part even with an active toddler. I mean lots of women before me have done it, so I'm pretty sure I'm not less capable than they are. No, what I'm worried about is the emotional challenge.

You see I love B. I adore her. I think she's one of the strongest, most beautiful and definitely most capable women I've ever met. As I've gotten to know her better over the last two years, my admiration for her talents and abilities and wonderful spirit have only grown. So for that reason I kind of dread the day that's fast approaching.

March 30, 2008 was both the best and worst day of my life. On the one hand, we got to bring home this perfect baby boy. Something we'd prayed for and hoped for more than you can imagine. This wonderful gift we'd been given by a loving Heavenly Father and a selfless young woman. And it was because of that young woman that it was also the most difficult thing I've ever done. To see her in so much pain, spiritually and emotionally speaking was heart wrenching. To know that our opportunity to become a family and our eternal happiness was the cause of so much heart break for another family is something that I don't even have words to describe. To know that this child belongs with you and your family, but you have to take him from another woman's arms is something you just can't understand until you've experienced it.

Back then B. was simply a sweet girl who was making the ultimate sacrifice. We loved she and her family for their selflessness and willingness to do what was really the hardest thing anyone can ever be asked to do. And please understand, it wasn't just B. who made this sacrifice. Her parents, sisters, nieces and nephews were all affected by her decision to place Gideon with us. And in that room on that day, every one of them who was present shed many tears as they had to say goodbye to that perfect baby boy.

I cried too. More than I've ever cried in my entire life. I felt like a sponge who'd been wrung completely dry and still the tears kept coming. My joy. Their pain. It was all one major emotional melt down. And yet somehow I had to try and be the strong one.

And before the end of the month I'll have to do it all over again. Only this time, could be much, much worse. Have you ever, either with a careless remark, thoughtless gesture, or even in a moment of anger, hurt someone you love? For me, it's the worst feeling in the entire world. To know that I caused someone I care about to hurt or feel bad or even cry. And yet that's exactly what I have to do in a couple of weeks. I have to hurt someone I love. B. and her family aren't just a bunch of sweet people to us anymore. They're special. We've spent time with them, we've exchanged letters and pictures. We've gotten to know them. It was hard back when they were just acquaintances, to take this baby and walk away, seeing all of them hurting so badly. But now they're friends.

I don't know exactly how things will play out on that day. There's very little about the adoption process that you can count on for sure. But two things I know without a doubt. 1. This child is meant for us. I've known since the moment we learned about B.'s pregnancy that this was my daughter (in my mind there was never a question of the gender, I knew we were getting a girl.) This is the child who will make our family complete. And 2. I have to hurt people I love very much in order to get my baby girl.

Goodbye Sweet Summer! We'll Miss You!

It's no secret that I'm not a fan of winter. I love summer. And the hotter the better. Which of course means that I definitely live in the wrong state! But I won't get into all of that again right now. We've already had a full two weeks of cooler fall weather. We did get a slight reprieve on Friday & Saturday this weekend though, so at least we could send it out in style.

First though, we had a little surprise when we found out Wednesday that Trav would get to be home for the holiday weekend. And what did you bring us from Alaska daddy?

Oh nothing! Gideon just wants to make sure he gets to go with you next time.

Saturday we drove out to Gray's Lake for a rodeo. The small hometown kind of rodeo I grew up on. It was fun. We had a great dutch oven lunch before the fun started, then we got to watch all kinds of good stuff. And it only started raining for about the last 20 minutes or so. That's Gideon with my parents, for those who were wondering.

And in this picture we have the side of Trav's face and Michael Egloff and Hillary Crawford. Friends of the family who are both out here attending BYU-I. They met at my parents' house on Thursday, came with us Saturday and had a date today.....

Gideon of course enjoyed playing with Chi Chi.

Since the cabin is actually right on the way to Gray's Lake, we went up there for the rest of the weekend.

We even took munchkin on a little hike.

He got a little ride from daddy when it got too tough.

But he was a trooper and insisted on walking the rest of the way down.

Today we went out to lunch with B. & her mother. Aren't they super cute!

She seems to be doing well for having only 2 1/2 weeks left to go. We had a great visit and enjoyed getting to spend the time with them.

And that was how we bid farewell to summer!

The Day I Crashed The Marathon

And lived to tell about it!

Confession Time: I didn't train for the marathon I ran today. Well not really anyway.

You see up until 11 weeks ago I'd only been planning on running the half marathon at Mesa Falls. But on June 12th, after my sisters and I ran the Dam Marathon, I watched all of the other runners coming in and thought, "If they can do a full marathon, I can too." So instead of signing up for the half marathon I registered for the full 26.2. Then I got online and downloaded a training program that would take 16 weeks (the minimum amount of time you're supposed to prepare for a marathon) and tweaked it to fit my schedule.

The only problem was that in the last month our schedule has been so crazy, I didn't even stick to the ammended training plan. Sure I ran that half marathon 3 weeks ago. And up to that point I was doing okay. But in the last month with the home study, adoption paperwork and getting Travis ready to leave I just couldn't seem to find the time to run hardly at all. In fact, during the last 14 days I've run exactly 3 times, the longest of which was a measly six miles.

Add this all up and you'll realize that before today I've never run more than almost 14 miles in a single stretch. But I figured it would either kill me or not, so there was nothing to do but just go run. And that's exactly what I did.

I spent the night at mom & daddy's last night because I had to be up early to catch the bus in Ashton that would take me to the starting line. And they were going to keep Gideon for me. At 3:45 this morning when the alarm went off I felt rested and very excited and only slightly nervous.

Can I be honest this is the only race I've ever been to where they put your goody bag in a potato sack. I thought it was funny.

The pre-race breakfast at Ashton Elementary at 4:30 this morning was awesome. Bagels, fruit, yogurt, cereals, muffins and every kind of drink you could possibly want. I got there about 4:50 and had time to eat a half a bagel, some watermelon & a few orange slices before loading the busses for the starting line.

After a bumpy ride in the dark we started at 6:30 this morning at a balmy temperature of 43 degrees. The first 10 miles just flew by. I don't think my brain was really awake so my body just went on auto-pilot & did it's thing. I felt awesome. And the scenery was spectacular. We ran right over the lookout point for lower Mesa Falls, and then cruised along the river. It was breathtaking. I got to the halfway point a full ten minutes faster than the half marathon I did three weeks ago. I was on target to be half an hour faster than my goal of 5 hours 30 minutes.

At mile 17 I hit the wall. For the next three miles I alternated walking and running. Every part of me ached. I just wanted to sit down and cry. The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that if I quit moving I'd never get going again. About mile twenty I got my second wind. I was much slower than the first half of the race, but I wasn't in breakdown mode anymore. I just had to keep telling my body to tough it out. My parents showed up with Gideon at about mile 23 so I got to have a little cheering section which was a fun surprise.

By mile 24 my feet had really started to hurt. I felt two blisters forming and was pretty certain that I was going to lose a toenail. From that point it was all guts and adrenaline. I had nothing left in the tank.

A sweet lady from Florida running in her 25th marathon caught up to me in the last mile and thanks to her conversation and encouragment, she kept me going to the end. Really I don't know how I'd have done it without her.

Official times haven't been posted yet, but according to my wath I crossed the finish line at 5:31.12 So I was pretty darn close to hitting my goal and I can't complain about that. By the end I ached everywhere, but no major injuries (unlike Myrtle Beach I can actually walk!) Unless you count my pour blistered feet. I have blisters on the pads of my feet and as you can see from the photo below, blood blisters on two toes. They hurt like the dickens I guess I'll have to get a sterile needle and puncture them so they can drain, then they won't hurt as bad.

After the race mom & daddy took me to Broulim's deli for a celebratory lunch. (MMMM barbecued ribs with mac & cheese!) When Gideon and I got home this afternoon we didn't have time to rest. Just a quick shower and get dressed because we had a wedding to go to.

Trav's cousin Chad (or actually his cousin Vicki's son, Chad) got married today in a small ceremony. But it was nice and the food at the reception was excellent! One of Chad's sisters makes amazing Mexican food so we had home made tamales, pazole, rice & beans. It was great!

Gideon made friends with the flower girls, four year olds Alexis & Makayla. What a charmer!

That's Chad & his bride Stephanie at the head table. On the right toward the front of the picture is Chad's mom (Trav's first cousin) Vicki.

And so now that we're finally home for the day I'm going to put ice packs on my aching knees And pretty quickly here call it a night! I'm totally beat! I don't think I've ever felt so exhausted and yet so exhilarated at the same time. I can't wait for the next one!