In an effort to shift my attitude this evening, I decided to employ a little trick I learned a decade ago while I was serving my mission that I've always used to help pull me out of a funk. (Well, you know, besides the usual hot bubble bath and lots of chocolate.)
I actually stole this idea from a companion who got it from a well known hymn. Have you noticed that it's impossible to be unhappy when you're counting your blessings? So tonight I just started making a mental list of all of the things I'm thankful for. I was really just hoping that it would calm me down enough to let me get a decent night's sleep.
While I'm not going to say I feel 100% better (I still have a killer headache & obviously there are some larger issues I still have to deal with) I can say that I do feel a bit calmer right now and not like I'm caught in the middle of a panic attack. (The vise that was closing in on my chest earlier today feels like it's loosened just a little.)
I won't list all of the blessings I counted today or the wonderful friends, family and things I'm thankful for in my life. I just want to tell you the one that I thought of that actually made me smile tonight. I was at church earlier this evening, helping the girls with some first aid stuff for camp and you know what occurred to me? I really do have great legs! (Refer back to my post of May 15th this year if you've forgotten already!) The ridiculous thing is that this thought popped into my head as I'm watching the girls learn CPR on a dummy they nicknamed "Vegetable Stew" it was so hilarious that I had to stifle a laugh. What an odd time and place for such a thought to occur. But seriously, I'm really thankful for my legs! They're tan from being outdoors so much and toned from all the running. And (if my husband is to be believed) they really do look pretty hot in a skirt and heels. So many people I see in my daily life don't work out, never get enough sun or have to deal with unsightly veins and discoloration. I've been so blessed in the legs department and I didn't even realize it!
So today I'm thankful for my legs. They're strong enough to run 20 miles at a time and carry a 30 lb. toddler when I'm "resting" from running. They let me keep up with ten 9 year old cub scouts and a dozen teenage girls several times a week. And to top it off, they're not even bad to look at!
On that note I'm going to take a very heavy pain killer & head to bed. Because I can't afford to lose another day to this headache or this stress. I've got way too much going on!