A Day Late

Ooops! I meant to post this yesterday because yesterday was actually Jesse's 25th birthday. But oh well. I guess a day late is better than nothing! Happy Birthday Bess!

We Miss Him So Much!

Still waiting to hear when placement will happen. But for fun I thought I'd post this. The nurse at the hospital was kind enough to make a second set of footprints so that we could have one. (She also gave us the free diaper bags and an entire case of formula.) And B's sisters bought she and I matching charm bracelets. Right now they only have one charm, an aquamarine, (that's his birthstone.) I've worn it all day (and yesterday too.) And I just keep looking at the pictures and the footprints and the bracelet and trying not to let it break my heart that we don't have him yet. But we miss him. I didn't know it would be possible to miss him so much already. We took advantage of one of our last childless days and went to a movie this afternoon. Still, it was weird. Knowing that we're parents and yet, not having our child. The car seat is installed, the clothes and blankets are washed, bottles sterilized, (though not wrapped in saran wrap) and so now just more waiting. We hope it will happen soon.

I would like to introduce my son

Gideon Daniel Storer

March 20, 2008 10:25pm

7 lbs. 6 oz. 21 inches long

Yes, he's perfect! We don't know for sure when placement will get to happen, but we had a wonderful visit with B and her parents this afternoon. (And we loved seeing our little man.) He wouldn't open his eyes, but he did make the cutest little noises and Travis swears he smiled twice while he was holding him.

All the Information I have

Okay I was trying to wait until I had more information, but I know y'all are dying, so I'll tell you what I do know. We didn't get a phone call until 6:30 this morning. He was born shortly before midnight and he's healthy and B is recovering well.

That was the message left on her caseworker's cell phone in the wee hours of the night. So she called first thing this morning to let us know what she knew.

And that's it. We hope we get to go see him sometime today. I'll let you know as soon as I know more!

Basketball and a Baby

Well my bracket is looking pathetic already. Even after only four games are final I'm sitting at just 50%. (I picked all of my upsets for today and they haven't delivered. Stupid Temple!) Still the day may not be a total loss. Maybe some others will come through for me before the day is over.

In the meantime I did finally hear from our caseworker. B was induced this morning, so we're having a baby today! (Well, unless it goes really, really, really long and he doesn't come until after midnight. Then we won't have a baby until tomorrow.) Either way it's comforting to know that he's on his way and our caseworker promised that we'll be contacted once he's born. So I'll post more updates as I have them, but I just wanted to let y'all know that at this point, all systems are "GO!"

Cross your fingers, hold your breath and don't stop praying!

The update you're probably not waiting for

Okay so sorry about my breakdown last night. I'm usually much more in control, but knowing how many people were waiting to hear what was happening I definitely wanted to get a post put up. I probably should have waited until I wasn't quite so emotional because then it wouldn't seem like I was whining.

At any rate between a conversation with our caseworker this morning and another email from B, I have a little bit better idea of what had happened. (For the record, our caseworker didn't know that the baby wasn't born yesterday until I unloaded the whole story on him this morning. He seemed to feel really bad that we were treated as an afterthought and promised that he'd make sure even if he isn't here, that someone is on top of letting us know what's going on. He said, "If I were in your shoes I'd be desperate to know too." He's going to look into the breakdown in communication and see what happened so that it won't happen again.)

The reason they were going to induce B yesterday is because Spring Break is next week and she wanted to have the baby this week, so that she'll have all of next week to begin her recovery (both spiritually and physically I'm sure) and then can return to school without having to miss any more days than necessary. Given the situation and how close she is, the doctor agreed this was a good plan. (I'm so impressed at her dedication to keep up on her work and graduate on time. She seriously has a level of maturity that so many girls her age in this situation seem to lack.) Well when she got to the hospital yesterday morning, they didn't have enough beds. They kept her sort of "on call" for a few hours in case someone might get discharged or something might open up. But they soon realized that it wasn't going to happen that day. So they rescheduled her for Thursday. (Not next week, just Thursday. So like tomorrow. That makes way more sense to me.) Her email this morning was so cute. She seems so tired and worn out and just ready for all of this to be over. My heart just goes out to her. I wish there were something I could do for her to make it easier on her. (I told her in an email this morning I'd gladly come and rub her feet if she needed me to.)

So yesterday after spending all day wound up and freaking out (thanks so much to my wonderful family for rallying around to support me. Jesse took me out to lunch and then mom, Hillary and Cody came over and helped me clean the house a little and watched movies to distract me. I have absolutely no idea how they've put up with me for 30 years, especially as crazy and high strung as I was yesterday.) Anyway, after being at an emotional unraveling point for most of the day when we finally did get the call last night it kind of pushed me over the edge. Which is why all of you were subject to my tearful last post. Sorry again. So last night because I had to escape, I went and sang karaoke. Liz and T you guys were lifesavers. Thanks for hanging out with me and making me laugh. I really needed that.

And that's the news. B said she's pretty sure they'll be able to get her in tomorrow. So we'll wait with baited breath to see what happens. Thanks to everyone for all of your love and support. Sorry it's been something of an emotional roller-coaster over the last month. I appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers. Much Love to all!

False Alarm

Okay so my day has been more than a little frustrating. (Not to down play yours Leisha, I'm sure yours was worse.) So the email I received from B said that they would be inducing her at 7:30 this morning. I frantically called my caseworker when I got the email (around 10) and asked for details. He said that he hadn't heard anything (which I already knew because we'd talked already this morning) but that he would get together with B's caseworker and see what was happening. He also suggested that I get directly in touch with her caseworker to see how things were going. So I dropped her an email this morning with our cell phone numbers (even though I work with her through volunteering so I know she already has them.) She emailed me back within minutes that she'd update me as soon as she had any news.

I tried to be as patient as possible, but at 4:30 after going out of my mind waiting to hear something I called the agency again. I mean we needed to know if Travis needs to be here today or tomorrow or later than that. I'm trying to figure out if I need to reschedule work meetings or what. Our caseworker was out and hers was in a meeting. I left voicemails for both of them just saying that we were really wondering what was going on and desperate to make sure things were okay. I also tried our caseworker on his cell phone. (After singing his praises this morning he was strangely unreachable all afternoon.) I called again at 6:oo and finally at 6:30 begged a receptionist at the agency to have someone PLEASE call me and let me at least know that things were still okay.

So just a few minutes ago the receptionist called me back. Her message was short and disappointing. "Well, she's not in the hospital, she actually came to group tonight. They have her scheduled for Thursday next week to be induced." (That, by the way, makes no sense at all to me, he'll be a week late by then. He could come on his own before that.) Anyway I tried to make sense of it all but the receptionist didn't have any details. I've re-read her email a dozen times. She for sure said that she was going in at 7:30 this morning to be induced so he'd be born sometime today or possibly tomorrow. So who knows what happened. I'm not upset that she didn't get induced today.

The thing that is so frustrating to me is that no one called to tell us. Surely they knew about this sometime before ten minutes ago. Why on earth did I just have to freak out and go through an entire day of hell like this? Hours and hours and hours sitting on pins and needles waiting for what? Apparently nothing. And yet no one had the courtesy to even let us know that it was a false alarm. I know our caseworkers are busy but we've been hanging for an entire day waiting for something to happen. Why couldn't they call at noon and say "well something happened and they had to reschedule."

Forgive me if I'm selfish and having a pity party right now. I don't care. This hurts. It hurts enough to know that some little girl is in there laboring to have my child and all I can do is sit and wait by the phone for someone, anyone to call. It hurts that I'm missing out on the experience of carrying my own child. It hurst to know that it's in someone else's hands and that she can change her mind at any time through this process. It hurts. And yet here we are, the last to know that plans have changed. Maybe that shouldn't hurt, but it does. I can't explain it to anyone who hasn't been through it so don't ask me to try. To know that you were the fifth or sixth people to know you were getting a child. To know that a slew of others will know that he's here first, will get to hold him before you even know he's arrived is a slightly bitter cup. It's even worse to know that you could be forgotten.

I love our birth mom so much. I love all my birth moms I work with. I love birth moms in general. I think they're the strongest, most selfless women on the planet. Right now I'm angry at the administration. At the secretaries and receptionists and caseworkers who didn't call. Leisha I'm sorry you made the trip all the way down to the courthouse today for nothing. But I do understand how hard it is to have the situation so completely out of your hands. To have something so important and vital in your life rest on the whim of someone else. And to know that there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. And even worse, that through the red tape and administration they might actually forget about you.

BREAKING NEWS!

I was barely finished with the last post when I checked my email this morning. B had said she would email us after her Dr. appointment yesterday just to give us the update. Well I didn't check my email after about 9:00 last night, and this morning when I did, there was the update from B. SHE'S BEING INDUCED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what prompted them to go ahead and induce her, she didn't really give us any details, but our caseworker didn't know about it this morning when I talked to him. (Or at least, he didn't mention it at all.) So I just left him a very frantic message begging for him to call me back! YIKES! I think I'm going to throw up!

Mean Trick!

So Travis and I have been blessed with the BEST caseworker in the world. He truly is so concerned about making sure that everything is done right and that everyone has a positive experience. But I'm seriously tempted to ask him not to call until our baby is here. Over the last two days he's called three times. Every time I see his number on the caller ID my heart starts pounding and I practically hyperventilate thinking, "This could be it." But it's always something about the paperwork or other mechanics. I appreciate that he's being so thorough but it's a very mean trick when Gideon is due any day now. I understand also that he's just trying to make sure that everything is done correctly as he is leaving on vacation Friday and won't return until the 31st so it's likely that he'll miss the placement. (Luckily we know B's caseworker and she's always very on top of things as well, so we know everything will be handled.) Still, it's mean to call so often and not say "He's on his way!"

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Guess who landed the overall number one seed just hours after claiming their second straight ACC Tournament Championship?

That's right, my Heels. (Celebrating with coach Roy Williams above.)

I won't bore all of you with my complete bracket, but I think you all already know my pick to win the whole thing. I will give you my final four though, UNC, Kansas, Texas & Duke. (With UNC beating Texas for the title.) The beauty of this sport is knowing that anything can and will happen over the next couple of weeks. There are still 65 teams in contention for a national championship as of this moment. And it's always a wild ride to the finish! I LOVE MARCH!