Yes, that's right! I'm starting to freak out! Gideon is due in just 23 days! We don't have a pediatrician yet, don't even know how to go about finding one. I have about 400 projects around the house that need to get done before he gets here, and to top it off between the books, internet and friends I'm really stressing about all the baby stuff. How long do I have to be a Nazi about people washing their hands before they hold him? What if we wash our hands too much and he doesn't get enough good bacteria to build his immune system? How am I going to keep the cat away from him? How am I going to keep the cat from turning into a holy terror when I have to keep him away from the baby? How am I supposed to take a shower and get myself ready when Travis is at work and I'm alone with the baby? I washed all the baby stuff in that 'mild' detergent, but our sheets are washed it regular detergent, is he going to have a reaction if I put him in bed with us to feed him during the night? Will the dishwasher sterilize the bottles enough or do I need to boil them with the nipples and rings? If I sterilize all the nipples and rings together, how do I keep them sterile until feeding time? How long do I need to continue to sterilize everything? Will he miss out on too much by not being able to be breastfed? I have no idea how to work the car seat, am afraid I'll force him to eat too much, and worried that I'll compulsively check diapers every 20 minutes because I'm so afraid of letting him sit too long in a wet diaper. Don't even get me started on thinks like colic, cradle cap and dozens of other little baby ailments that terrify me.
I know all of you with children are probably laughing at the triviality of my paranoia, but please tell me that some level of a meltdown is normal. Perhaps mine is worse than most because we've waited so long for children and are older than most first time parents. But still, is this normal. or am I just losing my mind?
36 comments:
Idaho Falls pediatrics is beyond life altering amazing. If we sit down for five minutes I can tell you why I want to kiss Dr. Smith every time I leave there. Amazing and fabulous and wonderful. And if you chose to vaccinate his nurse Brandy can give multiple shots before the child knows she's starting.
LOL!!!! Cali, take a deep breath. You're going to be a great mom! Those are all justified questions, but I don't think there's one that would kill him! Kids will be kids and you're going to have to be ok with that. Don't worry, everything will be ok!
Cali, This may sound kind of odd but the panic you are feeling is just part of the fun of preparing for a new baby! I'm not laughing at you just getting excited for you!
Just think about it. You have to cram nine months of prep into one! First, I want to point out that I have breast AND bottle fed my babies according to their own needs. I have decided all of them are well ajusted happy kids they don't care where it comes from as long as it fills their belly and they get snuggled too.
As for all your other questions... Have people wash their hands until you are comfortable with saying it's not nessasary any more. Sterilize and sanatize all you want or don't want. Car seats come with directions and are pretty parent friendly. Trust me, you'll know when your baby needs a diaper change and when he doesn't. I wouldn't worry too much about cradll cap, Johnson's and a good scrubbing can take care of it. As for colic, I'm actually dealing with that now for the first time...and it took me 8 trys to get a baby with it. Don't stress until it happens. also, you CAN put the baby down while you take a shower...If you don want to at first, don't worry. You'll get icky enough that you'll WANT to! :)
The one thing you need to remember is that it's the Lord that is trusting you with this baby. No one knows you better than He does and if He has faith in your ability so should you!
Good Luck !
Yeah that is just a mild panic attack... :)
K first you need to breath.
I was more nazi with Jimmy about hand washing. The first month I was ultra hard core but seriuosly its my small 6lb baby. Just make it easy with nice soap by the sink. They'll get used to it. I wouldn't worry about good bacteria (we're huge fans of it) because he'll get it from other sources.
I don't do animals but you could keep the cat in other rooms and say a prayer and see if it is a problem.
Oh honey, you move the swing into the bathroom doorway, or the bouncer into the bathroom and shower with him in there until you're comfortable to do it with him outside the door.
I wouldn't stress about detergents until you know its a problem. Just see how he reacts. You'll probably be fine.
I didn't do bottled until Jimmy was 9m and then it was washed with soap and water and not worry. You could keep the bottles in a container separate from the yucky ones if you wanted.
I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate in a million ways. But I HAD to stop with Jimmy at 9m and it was hard. But you cans till bond, and love on them, and do skin to skin contact. Don't stress it. You'll come to terms.
Gripe water is a herbal remedy for gas and colic and works amazingly. I've got a bottle if you ask me for it.
You're freaking out and its totally fine. A lot of us have 10 months to come to terms with the freaking out and you don't. So freak out all you want and you'll eventually breath and realize its going to be ok.
We are soooooo excited for you.
Of course I have no advice for you because I often wonder the same questions and find myself panicking!!
But you will be a great mom! :) I am so excited for you!
I absolutely agree with Angela about IF Pediatrics. Dr. Scott Smith is beyond wonderful. The most compassionate and thorough Dr. my kids have ever had and they have been to many Dr.'s. I HIGHLY recommend him. I cannot say enough good about him. I know you would love him too! Cali, you will be a wonderful mom and all of your worries are normal. Just take one day at a time and always pray that you will know what to do if situations arise and you will be fine. Take care!
Where do you get "gripe water" !?! I'd love to know!
Just remember the 3 important rules:
1. Don't get them wet
2. Don't feed them after midnight
3. Don't expose them to bright light
or bad things happen..
:)
(if for some under-the-rock reason you don't get the reference.. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087363/)
Thanks but I remember Gremlins well enough on my own. You're a big help.
But seriously.. I don't think Nicole slept a wink the first night home with Tristen. Its natural to freak out about everything. We're sending you a book that answers a lot of those questions.
The biggest issue we worried about was the breastfeeding one (it didn't work out, and Bloomington is a very pro-breastfeeding place. got the feeling that our baby was going to die without it). We decided to spare no expense in the formula department mostly out of guilt, but Enfamil Lipil has been great for both of our kids. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, we've got one of the smartest 4-year-olds around (I'm biased) and he was a formula baby.
.. and we just wash the bottles and nipples in the dish washer (take the nipples and rings apart of course). Avent bottles are great.
Ug! I hate "Nipple Nazis" (my husbands nick name for those "Your-baby-will-suffer-without-breastfeeding" types)Enfamil Lipil seams to be the best for our family too. If he has a dairy allergy you can try Enfamil Prosoybe..soy based.
We just washed the bottles in the dw with all ofour kidos...even the premies. A dr once told us it's about the same as boiling them...we ran with that one!
Cori, I never knew you were so Funny! I loved your movie refrence! Youve cracked me up like three times today
Uh, did I mention my husband wrapped our first son's bottle nipples in saran wrap after sterilizing them? Now? We throw 'em in the dishwasher, shake 'em off, done.
I also taped a note to the front door reminding visitors to wash up before touching the baby!
Considering your Mom has 7, and your sis has 6, I'm thinking you are going to be juuuust fiiiiine!
I'm SOOO EXCITED to see him!
Okay I think I might live through this experience. I made an appointment to visit with Dr. Smith tomorrow and tour the facility. I just hope he's ready for my barrage of questions regarding everything from recommended formula for building immunity to circumcision.
Yes, I'm a nutcase right now. Deal with it. I'm going to be a first time parent in three weeks. I'm allowed to be a nutcase at the moment.
Be Nuts now but calm down when that little guy gets here. He can tell if you are a ball of nerves. Just remember the Lord will guide your hands AND your head where G is concerned.
And Cali dear, I mastered the new age carseats for my Grandbabies so I know you can too!! (It just took me a while, ok)
Time Well Spent
See tiny fingers and tiny toes,
Bright baby eyes, cute baby nose;
Hear baby gurgles and baby sighs,
As Mom and Dad sing lullabies.
Life is changed, but that's okay;
It's fun to spend glad hours each day,
Taking time for all the good
That comes along with parenthood.
By Joanna Fuchs
Hey Cali! I've tried to leave several comments this past week, I hope this one works.
Girl,you are going to be awesome! I didn't even think of half of those things the whole time I was pregnant with Grace. I just learned as I went along. So the fact that you are already thinking about all of these things is great! Here's my two cents:
I wasn't able to breastfeed Grace due to some complications with my c-section, and she is just fine. She is pretty smart, if I do say so myself, and she didn't have an ear infection until this year. I totally hear you on the shower thing. At first I would wait all day until Scottie got home, I was feeling pretty gross by then but a long hot shower was my form of therapy for dealing with all the crazy horomones. After that I would just put her in the swing and it worked great! When she got a little older I would put her in the exersaucer. I can't wait for you guys to finally have your blessing in your arms. You're going to be great!!
Love ya,
Riss
Cali,
Wow. Well just about everything that needs to be said has been said. Just remember that babies are far more resiliant than we think. Although your concerns seem huge, what matters most is your love for the baby. We all make mistakes in the day to day, but your love and patience are what will make a happy and healthy child.
John
PS: Some Mylacon in the house helps with peace and quiet.
But honestly he was LAUGHING so hard while reading your blog that the kids came in from the other room to see what was so funny! :)
I am only laughing cause it is natural to worry. It means you care and you are concerned. It is the unknown that is hard. I promise once he is laid into your arms Heavenly Father will bless you with the knowledge of what to do. You will be his mom and that mantel will sit upon your shoulders and you will be ok. Your love for him will overwhelm you and you will learn and grow together. YOur house is clean and there is love that abides there. What more could a baby need. Plus I am sure there are so many emotions that are running through your body considering the road that you have traveled to have Mr. G come to your home. I remember Elisa telling me that she felt reserved about Calli before I placed her but that once I placed her she felt something so different for her. I feel so much excitement for you and your dear sweet birth mom is amazing. I'm excited to continue to watch your story unfold.
Cali, all your questions mean you're normal and doing what you're supposed to be right before you get a baby for the first time - I did the same :). You're going to be a great mom because of it! Corey and I bought a supersize bottle of "moisterizing" hand sanitizer and had people use it until it was almost 1/2 gone (maybe about 2 mo., but we had winter babies both times). I think only once a missionary got offended, because he obviously didn't know - but even he was happier about it when we pointed out it was "moisterizing". Everyone else knew and expected it - it's just what's done with a new born baby.
Don't follow sis though, make sure you have a Camera!!! Babies don't stay babies for long. And you can't get too many pictures.
You will do just fine. Gideon is going to be in a loving home and you will figure everything out as you go. Just try to relax for now and get some sleep. You'll be missing that in a few weeks. :)
Jama
You will be a wonderful mom and I will be there for you. (For a couple of weeks anyway.)
Cali, sheesh there's so many who've written you may never see this. You're such a crack up! Guess whether you have your baby yourself, or get him another way it doesn't matter because I had so many of those same concerns. Who'd have thought you're normal! Hope you are laughing at that because I mean it to be indearing. So, just have fun and do something great with Travis before your little guy comes because it'll be a while before you'll go out with just him again.
If you want, I can show you the child's "off" button....
There is a pressure point in the brain that you can hit in a child under two (before the skull completly turns to bone), it will shut off the blood supply in the brain for just the tiniest of a microsecond, and the loss of the blood supply will make the body sort of restart (and thus shut down crying). I did it once or twice to Valor when he was a toddler :)
I don't know if that's cool or creepy Beej. :)
I vote creepy.
Honey, you're gonna be fine, and so will that baby! This is Joanne, Shiloh's friend from Ricks. I stumbled onto your blog when I was checking hers. Women have been raising babies for thousands of years. Babies are resilient and tough and he will do great with all the love you're going to give him!
I don't think he can cry near as much as you did. I mean how many little babies (4-5 months old) cry and hold their breath until they pass out? Hmmm.. I had seven children and only one did that. It scared me to death the first time it happened. I freaked out because I thought the baby died. But then she just started crying again.
OH Wait!!! That baby was you!!!! And see how well you turned out :-)
Joanne -- Holy Cow girl! I wondered if you were still kicking around somewhere. I'm glad to know that you are. Please, please, please keep in touch.
And mom, it's no fun scaring me like that. My one fear has always been getting a kid like me for multiple reasons. So don't do that to me!
John and I were just talking about how much our youngest cries and we decided that if we'd had her first we would have only had one! So don't worry the Lord's not gonna bless you with more than you can handle THIS time... He'll wait a while. :D
Of course, YOU were the first for your Mom weren't you?
Yeah, mom actually thought something was wrong with Shiloh because she was so content and slept so much.
Your Mom's comment made me laugh. My first baby was the same as you Cali (cried a lot!) He refused to sleep in his crib. At 6 months old I tried the "cry it out" method and he fell asleep standing up gripping the sides of the crib...almost like "she will NOT win!" And I remember begging Jared to zip through yellow lights because if we stopped for the red Jake would scream his head off. He actually got his ankles bleeding one time because he kicked his car seat so hard!
I was naive and thought ALL babies were like that until I got Rachel and she slept through the night at 7 weeks (in her crib!) took naps easily and regularly and was a happy and contented baby. I'm glad we didn't have her first or having Jake would have been a real shockeroo!
But you know what? Even with all the crying I adored Jacob to the moon and back!
Can you believe it's March already? What if he comes early? Rachel did!
Wow, that was fun reading everyone's comments! Seems to me like you have a great support system! I can't believe it's so close! Really he could come any day! How exciting...I just can't wait girl! you better blog the day he is born! :)
Cali - Will's Stephanie here - you've been given a lot of great advice. I'll just add one tip. I work at Babies R Us. I don't know if they have one where you live but they do several free seminars a month from Infant CPR, Pets and Babies, and countless other topics. I just wanted to let you know based on our Car Seat Check days 80% of people have them installed incorrectly! Check with your local fire, police. (the hospitals should have a list) They have weekly appts where you can get your carseat inspected by a professional. I highly recommend doing it before bringing baby home. Those owner's manuals can be confusing for first time parents.
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