Parenthood: Day 1

No, I am not going to track each day of my life as a parent. However, I did think it would be interesting for you to know some of the things we learned on our first day as parents.

Gideon woke up at 6:30 and we had a great time getting him cleaned up and dressed and ready for the new day. (It was like dress up only way more fun!) Then Travis took him to his parents' house so that he could shower and I could crawl back in bed and try and catch up on a little of the sleep I didn't get last night. (I didn't get more than about 30 minutes though. I still had a lot on my mind and my mom and sisters kept calling. It's okay though. I forgive them.) Nana & Papa were naturally overjoyed to get to see him first thing in the morning although all he did was sleep. (See below.) But he's so cute no one cares!

After we were all showered and dressed it was off to meet the pediatrician. They decided to go ahead and make it his two week checkup. According to the doctor he's as healthy as a baby boy can be. And he weighs 7 lbs. 10 oz. so he's gaining weight well. I know circumcision is a "hot button" issue for a lot of people and I don't mean for this post to cause controversy, but in order to understand the whole day, you have to know that Travis and I did decide to have him circumcised. (We know everyone has their opinion that isn't what this is about. I'm not going to get into our reasons. It's not important.) Anyway I couldn't face being in there with him, so my mom came along. Travis and I waited in the room while they took him down the hall. They also did some other things including follow up screenings which involved pricking his heels. (He screamed so loud during that, I started crying. Thank goodness my mom was there. Even Travis was having a hard time.) Still the doctor said he did really, really well and just gave us an idea of what to look for and be aware of. So after the doctor and nurse beat up on him a little bit, we got sandwiches and came home.

By this time I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open, but I tried to convince myself laundry was more important. In the end it wasn't. He was having a hard time staying asleep in his basinette so I put him in bed with me and we both settled down almost immediately and took a little nap. (He's the best snuggle bunny ever!) I actually slept for almost 40 minutes and probably wouldn't have woken up if he hadn't sneezed on me. (But it was the cutest sneeze ever so I forgave him.) It was time to get up anyway because I had a hair appointment this afternoon with Jesse.

(PS I hate this picture of me, but he's so darling, I had to post it. It just felt so good to have him tucked in right there next to me.)

The idea for the afternoon had originally been that I would go get my hair done and Travis would spend some quality Father/Son bonding time with Gideon. But the water heater drama changed all of that. So instead of taking the baby he was shopping for and installing a new water heater. (The good news is, we now have hot water again. And somehow also a larger capacity water heater. Not sure why that was necessary. I think he knew I was too tired to question his judgement today.) Anyway since I didn't want to drag him to the salon to sit and wait for two hours, Grandma Cindy spent the afternoon with him. (Yeah. That just broke her heart.)

Anyway Trav's parents brought over dinner and we enjoyed the time with them of course. And they enjoyed their grandson, of course.

By this time we were getting really concerned because he was very cranky and more tender and bloody than we thought he would be. So back to the doctor we went.

The P.A. who checked him out must of got on his bad side because every time she got close to his area, he peed or pooped. All over the place. All over the table, the P.A. and his clothes. Luckily I'm notorious for over packing on every occasion and my diaper bag is no different. We had a complete change of clothes for him as well as a bag for the soiled items. The good news is that after she cleaned him up a little bit, she said he was actually doing well and reassured us that it looked good. (It did look a lot better after she cleaned him up.) He was much more calm all the way back home. I sat in the backseat with him and he held onto my finger and talked to me.

After he at some dinner and was kissed by his grandparents again, it was finally time for bed. And he's resting like an angel. He truly seems to be calm and happy now, so that's very good.

Finally to bed! Sleep well everyone.

No Sleep

I figure that since I'm not sleeping anyway, I'll post more pictures of our boy. Gideon did so well last night it was amazing. We all went to bed about 11:00. And although Travis dropped off right away, I didn't sleep at all. Every squeak, every coo, every sigh had me running for the basinette to make sure he was okay. But then I'd go back to bed and it would be silent for three or four minutes and I'd run back to check him again. He slept about four hours. His 3:00am feeding was actually really good. He didn't even cry. I only knew he was awake because he was "talking." So daddy made the bottle while I did the diaper. He ate really well, he burped really well and went right back to sleep.

I, however, did not. About 4:00am I finally gave up and got up. I did the dishes, sorted some laundry, balanced the checkbook and am now getting ready to go put away some of the things his birth family sent home with him yesterday.

Are we total dorks if we're getting a kick out of calling each other "Mom" and "Dad?"

With Nana and Papa (Trav's parents.)

OH! That reminds me! So Sunday morning when we woke up there was no hot water. None whatsoever. An inspection of the water heater revealed that it's rusted through so we have to get an entirely new water heater. I guess it's a trip to Lowe's for us today. In the meantime, it's a good thing Trav's parents live so close. We'll be running over there this morning to shower. Ei-yai-yai!

Home At Last!

Have you ever had days where you're so emotionally drained that you feel like a sponge which has been wrung out until it's practically dry. Well, that's been me for the last oh, six weeks or so. And the last week especially has been draining.

I don't think I'll ever be able to describe what placement was like. But I'll do my best to give you an idea. Months ago I had posted a picture of the lap quilt I made for our birth mom. Well we took that with us to give to B. We actually got to the agency before B and her family so that we could do some necessary paperwork. I was trembling so much as we were signing that the caseworker actually asked if I was going to be okay. She kept having to remind me to breathe. After B and her family arrived we were taken into the room where she waited with her parents and one of her sisters. I could tell when we walked in that B was already struggling.

We managed to have a pleasant visit, although B didn't really say much unless we asked her a direct question. We took pictures of all of us together. (Maybe someday I'll post those, but for now, that's too private.) A bunch of her friends had thrown a shower for her last week, so they gave us bags upon bags of clothes, blankets and other cute little items. I was on the verge of tears for most of the visit and every now and then one would escape down my cheek.

I started crying in earnest as we gave her the quilt and explained it to her. Then someone asked her family to talk about their dreams for the child and things they'd like us to tell him as he grows. (The tears of course kept coming.) B was crying by this time as well. My heart was just breaking for her. "Why?" I couldn't help but think. "Why does the greatest gift in my life have to be the source of so much pain for someone else?" She got up and walked over and placed him in my arms, but had to turn and run back to her mother. She couldn't manage hugging us at that point. We said our goodbyes and his birth grandparents each kissed him one more time and handed us letters they'd written for him before leaving.

And suddenly we were alone with our son. With this perfect little sleeping baby. The moment they were out of the room Travis said, "Hey hand him over." So that by the time the caseworker came back in to get us Travis was holding him and I was sobbing as I kissed the top of his head. (Thank goodness for waterproof mascara.)

On the drive home I sat in the back seat with him just staring at his perfect little face sticking out of the blankets. It didn't matter that he was nestled comfortably into his car seat. Or that the drive home only takes ten minutes. I couldn't stand the thought of sitting in the front not being able to look at him.

Once at home we were greeted by a welcoming committee of my mom, my sisters Hillary & Jesse, Jesse's husband Kelly and my brother Cody as well as Trav's parents. Naturally for the first two hours we were home he didn't get to lie down or stretch out at all. He just got passed around from one person to the next. (There was even help with dirty diapers.) Not that he seemed to mind. He woke up and looked around and talked a lot. Travis was afraid I was going to blind him by taking so many pictures.

So we changed clothes and tried to acustom ourselves to the idea of parenthood. Right now it still seems very surreal. I've cried a lot. Not in a bad way at all. It's just been an emotional day. Everything has been building to this. And now that it's here I'm so happy I can't stop crying.

And so now we embark on our first sleepless night. May there be many more to follow. Good night.

This is the first time we got to feed him, an hour or so after arriving home. (Travis took him from me right after this picture was taken because he said he wanted to feed him too. It was actually quite cute.)

With Papa Willard (Trav's dad.) This is his first grandson. He was so cute, he didn't want to let anyone else have a turn to hold him. Not even his wife. (She took him away anyway.)

That's Grandma Cindy (my mom) who, of course spent half the afternoon on the phone calling as much of the extended family as she could get hold of.

Not bad considering I'd been crying for about five hours at this point.

Superhero

Do your superheroes fly? Because mine does. Or did.

I was going to post this yesterday because it would have been Grandpa Bill's 85th birthday. But I didn't get to it, so here it is a day late. Grandpa Bill flew in three different wars. He was a fighter pilot in WWII. He passed away in May 2006. We all still miss him.

With a very happy Adrianna 2004

Alma 48:17 reminds me of grandpa. Grandpa would have liked that scripture. It says the word Hell.

Desperate for Distraction

Thank goodness basketball starts again tomorrow! The caseworker called this afternoon. B has decided she doesn't want to place until Sunday afternoon, so we get two more days I guess before we actually get him. So yeah, if anyone has any suggestions for good distractions I'm all ears. We definitely need something to keep us occupied for the next four days. The good news is that they've started the "legal" part of the process. When she does place him on Sunday she won't have been before the judge yet, so he'll still be in legal risk, but they should have a court date set by then, so we'll know when that part of this is going to happen. Love to all.

Placement Update

Okay we just got word that placement of our baby will happen on Friday. For those who are wondering why the delay, because of the laws in Idaho, the birth parents actually have to secure a court date and go in front of a judge to terminate parental rights. And until they do that, the birth parents still have legal right over the child. So in our situation, B decided that she wanted to spend a few days with him before placing him. And since she hasn't been to court yet, that's her legal right. So as you can imagine, we've spent the last few days on pins and needles waiting to hear when she'd be ready to place. But we'll have him on Friday. Right now that seems like a lifetime away.

A Day Late

Ooops! I meant to post this yesterday because yesterday was actually Jesse's 25th birthday. But oh well. I guess a day late is better than nothing! Happy Birthday Bess!

We Miss Him So Much!

Still waiting to hear when placement will happen. But for fun I thought I'd post this. The nurse at the hospital was kind enough to make a second set of footprints so that we could have one. (She also gave us the free diaper bags and an entire case of formula.) And B's sisters bought she and I matching charm bracelets. Right now they only have one charm, an aquamarine, (that's his birthstone.) I've worn it all day (and yesterday too.) And I just keep looking at the pictures and the footprints and the bracelet and trying not to let it break my heart that we don't have him yet. But we miss him. I didn't know it would be possible to miss him so much already. We took advantage of one of our last childless days and went to a movie this afternoon. Still, it was weird. Knowing that we're parents and yet, not having our child. The car seat is installed, the clothes and blankets are washed, bottles sterilized, (though not wrapped in saran wrap) and so now just more waiting. We hope it will happen soon.

I would like to introduce my son

Gideon Daniel Storer

March 20, 2008 10:25pm

7 lbs. 6 oz. 21 inches long

Yes, he's perfect! We don't know for sure when placement will get to happen, but we had a wonderful visit with B and her parents this afternoon. (And we loved seeing our little man.) He wouldn't open his eyes, but he did make the cutest little noises and Travis swears he smiled twice while he was holding him.

All the Information I have

Okay I was trying to wait until I had more information, but I know y'all are dying, so I'll tell you what I do know. We didn't get a phone call until 6:30 this morning. He was born shortly before midnight and he's healthy and B is recovering well.

That was the message left on her caseworker's cell phone in the wee hours of the night. So she called first thing this morning to let us know what she knew.

And that's it. We hope we get to go see him sometime today. I'll let you know as soon as I know more!

Basketball and a Baby

Well my bracket is looking pathetic already. Even after only four games are final I'm sitting at just 50%. (I picked all of my upsets for today and they haven't delivered. Stupid Temple!) Still the day may not be a total loss. Maybe some others will come through for me before the day is over.

In the meantime I did finally hear from our caseworker. B was induced this morning, so we're having a baby today! (Well, unless it goes really, really, really long and he doesn't come until after midnight. Then we won't have a baby until tomorrow.) Either way it's comforting to know that he's on his way and our caseworker promised that we'll be contacted once he's born. So I'll post more updates as I have them, but I just wanted to let y'all know that at this point, all systems are "GO!"

Cross your fingers, hold your breath and don't stop praying!

The update you're probably not waiting for

Okay so sorry about my breakdown last night. I'm usually much more in control, but knowing how many people were waiting to hear what was happening I definitely wanted to get a post put up. I probably should have waited until I wasn't quite so emotional because then it wouldn't seem like I was whining.

At any rate between a conversation with our caseworker this morning and another email from B, I have a little bit better idea of what had happened. (For the record, our caseworker didn't know that the baby wasn't born yesterday until I unloaded the whole story on him this morning. He seemed to feel really bad that we were treated as an afterthought and promised that he'd make sure even if he isn't here, that someone is on top of letting us know what's going on. He said, "If I were in your shoes I'd be desperate to know too." He's going to look into the breakdown in communication and see what happened so that it won't happen again.)

The reason they were going to induce B yesterday is because Spring Break is next week and she wanted to have the baby this week, so that she'll have all of next week to begin her recovery (both spiritually and physically I'm sure) and then can return to school without having to miss any more days than necessary. Given the situation and how close she is, the doctor agreed this was a good plan. (I'm so impressed at her dedication to keep up on her work and graduate on time. She seriously has a level of maturity that so many girls her age in this situation seem to lack.) Well when she got to the hospital yesterday morning, they didn't have enough beds. They kept her sort of "on call" for a few hours in case someone might get discharged or something might open up. But they soon realized that it wasn't going to happen that day. So they rescheduled her for Thursday. (Not next week, just Thursday. So like tomorrow. That makes way more sense to me.) Her email this morning was so cute. She seems so tired and worn out and just ready for all of this to be over. My heart just goes out to her. I wish there were something I could do for her to make it easier on her. (I told her in an email this morning I'd gladly come and rub her feet if she needed me to.)

So yesterday after spending all day wound up and freaking out (thanks so much to my wonderful family for rallying around to support me. Jesse took me out to lunch and then mom, Hillary and Cody came over and helped me clean the house a little and watched movies to distract me. I have absolutely no idea how they've put up with me for 30 years, especially as crazy and high strung as I was yesterday.) Anyway, after being at an emotional unraveling point for most of the day when we finally did get the call last night it kind of pushed me over the edge. Which is why all of you were subject to my tearful last post. Sorry again. So last night because I had to escape, I went and sang karaoke. Liz and T you guys were lifesavers. Thanks for hanging out with me and making me laugh. I really needed that.

And that's the news. B said she's pretty sure they'll be able to get her in tomorrow. So we'll wait with baited breath to see what happens. Thanks to everyone for all of your love and support. Sorry it's been something of an emotional roller-coaster over the last month. I appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers. Much Love to all!

False Alarm

Okay so my day has been more than a little frustrating. (Not to down play yours Leisha, I'm sure yours was worse.) So the email I received from B said that they would be inducing her at 7:30 this morning. I frantically called my caseworker when I got the email (around 10) and asked for details. He said that he hadn't heard anything (which I already knew because we'd talked already this morning) but that he would get together with B's caseworker and see what was happening. He also suggested that I get directly in touch with her caseworker to see how things were going. So I dropped her an email this morning with our cell phone numbers (even though I work with her through volunteering so I know she already has them.) She emailed me back within minutes that she'd update me as soon as she had any news.

I tried to be as patient as possible, but at 4:30 after going out of my mind waiting to hear something I called the agency again. I mean we needed to know if Travis needs to be here today or tomorrow or later than that. I'm trying to figure out if I need to reschedule work meetings or what. Our caseworker was out and hers was in a meeting. I left voicemails for both of them just saying that we were really wondering what was going on and desperate to make sure things were okay. I also tried our caseworker on his cell phone. (After singing his praises this morning he was strangely unreachable all afternoon.) I called again at 6:oo and finally at 6:30 begged a receptionist at the agency to have someone PLEASE call me and let me at least know that things were still okay.

So just a few minutes ago the receptionist called me back. Her message was short and disappointing. "Well, she's not in the hospital, she actually came to group tonight. They have her scheduled for Thursday next week to be induced." (That, by the way, makes no sense at all to me, he'll be a week late by then. He could come on his own before that.) Anyway I tried to make sense of it all but the receptionist didn't have any details. I've re-read her email a dozen times. She for sure said that she was going in at 7:30 this morning to be induced so he'd be born sometime today or possibly tomorrow. So who knows what happened. I'm not upset that she didn't get induced today.

The thing that is so frustrating to me is that no one called to tell us. Surely they knew about this sometime before ten minutes ago. Why on earth did I just have to freak out and go through an entire day of hell like this? Hours and hours and hours sitting on pins and needles waiting for what? Apparently nothing. And yet no one had the courtesy to even let us know that it was a false alarm. I know our caseworkers are busy but we've been hanging for an entire day waiting for something to happen. Why couldn't they call at noon and say "well something happened and they had to reschedule."

Forgive me if I'm selfish and having a pity party right now. I don't care. This hurts. It hurts enough to know that some little girl is in there laboring to have my child and all I can do is sit and wait by the phone for someone, anyone to call. It hurts that I'm missing out on the experience of carrying my own child. It hurst to know that it's in someone else's hands and that she can change her mind at any time through this process. It hurts. And yet here we are, the last to know that plans have changed. Maybe that shouldn't hurt, but it does. I can't explain it to anyone who hasn't been through it so don't ask me to try. To know that you were the fifth or sixth people to know you were getting a child. To know that a slew of others will know that he's here first, will get to hold him before you even know he's arrived is a slightly bitter cup. It's even worse to know that you could be forgotten.

I love our birth mom so much. I love all my birth moms I work with. I love birth moms in general. I think they're the strongest, most selfless women on the planet. Right now I'm angry at the administration. At the secretaries and receptionists and caseworkers who didn't call. Leisha I'm sorry you made the trip all the way down to the courthouse today for nothing. But I do understand how hard it is to have the situation so completely out of your hands. To have something so important and vital in your life rest on the whim of someone else. And to know that there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. And even worse, that through the red tape and administration they might actually forget about you.

BREAKING NEWS!

I was barely finished with the last post when I checked my email this morning. B had said she would email us after her Dr. appointment yesterday just to give us the update. Well I didn't check my email after about 9:00 last night, and this morning when I did, there was the update from B. SHE'S BEING INDUCED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what prompted them to go ahead and induce her, she didn't really give us any details, but our caseworker didn't know about it this morning when I talked to him. (Or at least, he didn't mention it at all.) So I just left him a very frantic message begging for him to call me back! YIKES! I think I'm going to throw up!

Mean Trick!

So Travis and I have been blessed with the BEST caseworker in the world. He truly is so concerned about making sure that everything is done right and that everyone has a positive experience. But I'm seriously tempted to ask him not to call until our baby is here. Over the last two days he's called three times. Every time I see his number on the caller ID my heart starts pounding and I practically hyperventilate thinking, "This could be it." But it's always something about the paperwork or other mechanics. I appreciate that he's being so thorough but it's a very mean trick when Gideon is due any day now. I understand also that he's just trying to make sure that everything is done correctly as he is leaving on vacation Friday and won't return until the 31st so it's likely that he'll miss the placement. (Luckily we know B's caseworker and she's always very on top of things as well, so we know everything will be handled.) Still, it's mean to call so often and not say "He's on his way!"

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Guess who landed the overall number one seed just hours after claiming their second straight ACC Tournament Championship?

That's right, my Heels. (Celebrating with coach Roy Williams above.)

I won't bore all of you with my complete bracket, but I think you all already know my pick to win the whole thing. I will give you my final four though, UNC, Kansas, Texas & Duke. (With UNC beating Texas for the title.) The beauty of this sport is knowing that anything can and will happen over the next couple of weeks. There are still 65 teams in contention for a national championship as of this moment. And it's always a wild ride to the finish! I LOVE MARCH!

The reasons I love March

I got married in March six years ago, during North Carolina's only losing basketball season since the early 1960's. At that time, I was grateful to have my wedding and being a newlywed to concentrate on so that I didn't have to obsess over the very frustrating fact that my boy's didn't make the post season for the first time in over 35 years. By getting married in March, I would always have at least one reason to celebrate in this month that can be either wonderful or agonizing if you're a basketball fan. Not to mention, March is notoriously cold and windy here (it snowed some more today) so I needed something to look forward to while I waited for summer. Now, of course, my first child will be born in March, giving us even more reason to always be able to celebrate in this the most fickle of months.

We met with B and her parents last night. She's getting closer each day. She reports contractions that come frequently when she's up and moving around, but slow down when she's resting. She's got a Dr. appointment on Monday and promised she would let us know how things are progressing. She also gave us some really cute outfits and shoes for Gideon. And we were able to get some pictures of all of us together. Out of respect for her privacy though, I'm not going to post those. At least not yet. We enjoyed getting to know her parents a little bit, and hearing more about her family. The meeting was very different from our last face-to-face because everyone was more comfortable and able to speak more easily and freely. Needless to say, everyone is quite anxious for him to finally arrive. And we know that each day brings us closer to his arrival. Some days (most days) I can't stand it! Which is why I'm so grateful for my usual March distraction of college basketball. It's truly been my saving grace this year!

My Play of the Year: Tyler Hansbrough A.K.A. "Psycho-T"

Speaking of basketball news, it was a heartstopper for my boys in baby blue today as Virginia Tech monopolized most of their ACC Tournament semi-final game today. But Tyler came through with .8 seconds left to hit the game winning shot. It was another stunning performance and so the Heels march to tomorrow's ACC Final which will be played against Clemson who upset Duke (YEAH!) in the other semi-final. (I cheered as much for the Tigers as I did for the Heels today.) It promises to be another hard fought game going right up to the wire. Tomorrow is also selection Sunday, so big tournament implications for both teams regarding seeding. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out! I LOVE MARCH!

ACC Update

My 'Heels just won their quarterfinal ACC game against Florida State 82-70. (I warned you guys I was a basketball fanatic. Be prepared for many updates over the next three weeks.)

Speaking of UNC Basketball, Tyler Hansbrough has already recieved one player of the year award and he's one of two top contenders for the five other player of the year awards. The other top contender is Michael Beasley of Kansas State. But of course, I'm pulling for Psycho-T. Because he's awesome!

My 100

I got this off of Jeana's blog. It's actually a lot harder than it looks. It took me quite a while to come up with 100 unique things about myself. I challenge each of you to try and make your own 100 list. As far as I know, there are no rules. Just 100 things about you. Without further ado, here's my 100.


1. I’m the oldest of seven children
2. I’m the oldest grandchild on my mom’s side.
3. I only have one brother
4. I can type 90 wpm with no mistakes when I’m really concentrating
5. I’m going to be a mother any day now
6. I love cheesecake
7. I do not like gravy
8. The only gravy I’ve ever liked is Mom Clayson’s pork gravy
9. I’ve been to Hawaii
10. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be Charleston, SC
11. I’ve never broken a bone
12. But I have had stitches
13. I’ve been to Mexico
14. I’ve been to Canada
15. I served an 18 month church mission
16. I met my husband in 1998
17. We were married in 2002
18. I lived in Amsterdam (and loved it!)
19. My Dutch is atrocious now. I can still understand it perfectly, but I speak with a terrible American accent
20. I’m a perfume-a-holic
21. Cary Grant is my favorite actor of all time
22. Jean Harlow is my favorite actress of all time
23. Sometimes I wear peep-toe heels and bright red lipstick just to try and be like Jean Harlow & other silver screen sirens of the 30’s & 40’s
24. Travis won’t let me name a daughter Harlow
25. I’m in better physical shape at 30 than I was at 25
26. Agatha Christie mysteries still have the power to surprise me
27. I sell Mary Kay
28. I love wearing BIG jewelry (dangling earrings, big necklaces, knockout rings, etc)
29. I haven’t seen my natural hair color since the summer of 1996
30. I’m not even sure what my natural hair color is anymore
31. I secretly have a crush on Eli Manning
32. I HATE “Reality TV” with a passion
33. I DVR episodes of “Moonlight”
34. I love to sing karaoke
35. My childhood dream was to be a movie star and broadway leading lady
36. I wear high heels with almost everything
37. I had a bunion-ectomy five years ago
38. Staying in a hotel is like a treat for me. I love it.
39. I enjoy public speaking
40. I was the Narrator in our HS production of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.”
41. I can still remember my high school fight song, “Hail the fighting Knights of Northview, silver, maroon and black…”
42. I was in the drumline in high school.
43. Our high school marching band were state champions two of my four years.
44. We have a fat, lazy cat named Crookshanks
45. The cat got his name from the Harry Potter books
46. I love the Harry Potter and Twilight series, even though they’re written for juvenile audiences.
47. I can’t wait for Stephenie Meyer to release “Midnight Sun” (Twilight from Edward’s perspective!) But she has to finish Breaking Dawn (book 4) first
48. I’m excited for the new Indiana Jones movie to come out this summer
49. I chug a small can of V8 juice every morning for breakfast
50. Then I follow it with a Diet Coke
51. I’m a native born Texan
52. I’m a borderline insomniac (I only sleep 3-5 hours most nights. And that somehow works for me.)
53. Tulips are my favorite flower
54. There are candles all over my house
55. I’m slightly claustrophobic
56. I wish I spoke Spanish
57. I love it when my husband sends flowers even though they’re not practical
58. I’m OBSESSED with College Basketball
59. I only really cheer for two teams, UNC and whoever is playing Duke
60. The guys at my previous company were in awe that I could out-strip them with my college B-ball knowledge. (Several of them have emailed that they already miss me this year.)
61. Secretly I think it would be awesome if my son were born on “Selection Sunday.” (That’s the 16th this year for my non-basketball type friends.)
62. I’m getting a number 50 UNC Jersey (Tyler Hansbrough’s number) because they’ll be retiring his number after his college career is over
63. I love going to Spinning class at the gym
64. I don’t like running but I do it because it feels good.
65. I’ve got the curviest figure of any of my sisters
66. I’m not the shortest of my sisters. (I beat Skye by a whole ¾ of an inch!)
67. I’m still shorter than my mom
68. I own all 10 seasons of “Friends” on DVD
69. When I’m sick or depressed I’ll hide down in our family room with the lights off and watch an entire season of “Friends” at a time (It always brings a smile)
70. When I’m sick or sad I always put on a pair of my husband’s pj’s.
71. I love to read
72. I’m always reading several books at a time
73. I collect antique books
74. There’s an organ in my front room which I don’t know how to play
75. I didn’t want to change my name when I got married.
76. I finally did so somewhat grudgingly
77. Now I’m fine with it. (Although I do miss my maiden name. Cali Cunningham is just flat cute!)
78. My sister Shiloh is in my earliest memory (we’re only 16 months apart in age)
79. I can’t stand whipped cream or cool whip
80. I hate winter. I could happily live in a world with no snow whatsoever
81. I got my first “boom box” for my 10th birthday
82. I also got my first cassette tape that day, “George Strait Greatest Hits Volume 2”
83. I still love George Strait even though I don’t listen to much country anymore
84. I love American muscle cars
85. My first car was a 1967 Corvair Monza convertible
86. I cried when we traded in my Mustang GT on a “more practical” car
87. I looked like a boy when I was 10-12 years old.
88. I have absolutely terrible eating habits
89. I remember both of my parents turning 30 years old (and thinking they were ancient.)
90. I get homesick for Holland when I watch “The Best Two Years.”
91. Sometimes I’ll watch certain movies or read certain books purposely to make myself cry, because I feel like I need an emotional release
92. I stockpile Jaqua’s Mint Chocolate shower gel & body butter because it’s my absolute favorite!
93. I made Shiloh’s prom dress her junior year
94. I got my first migraine my senior year shortly after finishing said prom dress
95. I’m my in-laws favorite Daughter-in-Law (but that’s because Travis is the only boy who’s married.)
96. Travis leaves me in charge of all the bills and balancing the books
97. I've read Jane Austen's entire repertoire multiple times because she's my favorite author. (I practically have P&P memorized, but it's my favorite!)
98. Blueberry cake doughnuts are my favorite
99. I can sing every song on the Coco album by Colbie Callait
100. I don’t watch award shows on TV because I think they’re pretentious

Because He Loves Me!

Another distraction

75 words

I already knew that I typed quickly. But when a friend found this little test I thought it would be intriguing to find out exactly how quick I am on the keyboard. Anyway, it was kind of fun. And a nice easy distraction for a few minutes of my day.

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Six things I've learned in six years of marriage:

1. Putting the toilet paper on the roll backward is not worth fighting over. (Just be grateful it got put on the roll at all.)

2. If there's jewelry involved, I'll never be upset.

3. Travis appreciates macaroni and cheese with hot dogs as much as (and sometimes more than) any fancy dinner I make.

4. Because our tastes are so different, it's always necessary to rent two movies at a time in order to maintain the peace.

5. Sometimes just sitting in silence together can say more than hours worth of conversation.

6. Every restaurant in town serves a slice of cheesecake big enough to share.

I love you, baby and I'd do it all over again! Thanks for being so good to me!

She FINALLY looks pregnant!

I stole these photos off my mom's blog because I thought they were so cute! My sister, Cami (who is due June 10th) is finally looking pregnant! And what a cute pregnant lady she is!

Speaking of pregnant ladies, we get to meet with B again on Friday night so that we can have an opportunity to meet her parents before Gideon arrives. We're excited to get to see her again and to get to meet some members of her family. Although our caseworker is kind of worried that we might not ever get to have that meeting. As expected, she's already effacing and dilating and apparently progressing quickly. So he's a little nervous he might be born before we have a chance to do that meeting. And that's the update for today!

Shades of Blue

Hats off to Psycho-T and the rest of Roy's Boys who crashed senior night at Cameron on Saturday and came away with the ACC regular season title and a lock for a one seed in the tournament. (Sorry D-Marc, you've become a heck of a ball player over the last four years. Too bad you chose the wrong shade of blue.) I don't care what team you root for, Carolina-Duke games are the stuff basketball dreams are made of.

Waiting............

The good news is that I'm not panicking as much as before. The bad news is that waiting right now is becoming agony. Most of you don't know the full story about our journey of adoption, and I don't think this is the time or place to get into that right now. (Because it would take hours and hours and hours.) I just have a few thoughts though that I can't seem to get out of my head, so you'll have to bear with me as I let my feelings bubble to the surface once again.

Ever since the fall of 2005 when we discovered that biological children wouldn't be possible for us, we felt that adoption was the natural choice for us. Within days of our doctor's appointment where we recieved the news, we were sitting in an adoption prep class and preparing to begin the journey. Through this process we've never felt bitter or angry about our infertility. It's true, there are some days that I'm sad for the things I might miss out on with regards to carrying our children, but by and large we feel so blessed. Adoption is such a special and spiritual journey and we've actually felt very blessed to be able to take part of it. Not to mention the journey itself has strengthened us as individuals and as a couple. It's blessed us in many ways already, even before our children have joined our family through adoption.

The hardest part about the whole thing for me, has been the waiting. The money spent, the reams of paperwork to fill out, the interviews, the fingerpinting, the background checks, the classes, the home studies, all of that was just mechanics. And I'm good at pushing through those types of things. But once we got our approval it was like, "Oh. What now." Never content to just sit & wait, many of you will remember recieving in the mail a packet of information from us containing, letters, cards and brochures to keep around and hand out as you perhaps had an opportunity. Still even after doing all of that, I wasn't going to sit around and wait. So I started volunteering at LDS Family Services. First, Travis and I taught the Adoption Prep class to couples just beginning or investigating the process. We made some good friends through that process and we've rejoiced when some of those couples have recieved placements. Although, yes, it did seem a little unfair that we'd been waiting so long and these couples got children before we did and they hadn't been waiting as long. It was truly bittersweet I just kept reminding myself that we'd get the children Heavenly Father meant to be in our family.

I was asked last summer to co-facilitate a birth parent support group in our area. It's been an amazing experience and a great journey to get to know many of these sweet birth moms. Some of them even expressed that if they hadn't already chosen a family, they'd choose to place with us. (I was never really sure how to take that. On the one hand it was great to know we were being thought of, but also a little disheartening to be everyone's "runner-up" couple.) But it's been a very positive experience for me, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have such great love and respect for all of these beautiful birth parents. I feel so priviledged to get to work with them. And honestly volunteering is the only thing that made the "waiting" at all bearable.

Still, as the weeks turned into months and the months stretched into years, I couldn't help but wonder when it would finally be our turn to bring home a baby. And it broke my heart that as people all around welcomed more children into their home, that I was still somehow unworthy of motherhood. I've never been one to complain though, because I still feel very blessed. And above all, I know that I can live a happy, blessed and fulfilled life without children (if that indeed was the Lord's plan for us.) I was happy with my life. Content. Always hopeful, but never expectant. Just waiting.

And then you all know the rest of the story. We got a call, we had a meeting, I stressed for a week, the blessed news came and it's been a wild ride ever since.

And now we're back to waiting. Only this time I think it's worse. Everyone who knows me at all knows that I'm a control freak. So imagine how difficult this is for me, to just have to sit and wait, and not to have any control over the situation. To look at the calendar each day and realize he could be here at any time. To know that it's so close and yet, there's still such a long road ahead.

I'm sure this post makes no sense, but my heart is full so I'm just needing to let it out I guess. In a way I feel very grateful that we've only had a few weeks to prepare from the time we found out he was coming. If we'd had months I'm afraid I'd have been even more of a basket case than I already am. Still, this period is turning into the longest five weeks of my life. And I know that five weeks is not that long. Two weeks is nothing. And yet, he's due in just two weeks and it suddenly seems as if that's the longest period of time ever for some reason.

Thanks for all of your support. And thanks for putting up with my crazy ramblings.

Want to see him?

No offense intended to any of my dear birth mom or adoptive friends, but I really think Travis and I won the birth mom lottery. I have no idea how we got such an incredible young birth mom, but she's amazing and we adore her. Today we got a call from LDSFS that there was something for us to pick up at the agency. B had left a cute little letter and these copies of her ultrasound pictures. These were taken back in November when she found out that he was a boy. (And in her note it was so cute, she said they didn't get a picture of it, but he wasn't shy about showing he was a "he.") Anyway her note was darling, it simply said that according to her doctor's appointment last week everything looks good, healthy and normal. So right now, we're just waiting on him to decide when he wants to make his appearance.

For my part of course I started bawling when I saw these photos. Firstly because it was so thoughtful of her and secondly because I didn't know if this is an experience I'd ever get to have. Since I'm not carrying the child, I didn't know if I'd get to experience ultrasounds or anything else. And I know this is nothing like the actual experience of carrying a child and getting an ultrasound, even so, I feel so blessed to at least have this little piece of it.