Sorry, but for the first time since we brought Gideon home, I didn't grab the camera at all today. Which is kind of a shame because he was awake for a big chunk of the day and being super cute.
Still I thought I'd update a couple of things since I know people are curious. So I've alluded to office politics and stress there, and I know some of you won't want to hear it, so just skip this paragraph. If you're wanting to know, then keep reading. The situation which has reduced me to tears and Hagaan Dazs every night for the last 10 days has to do with the fact that I'm on leave. I didn't meet some goals that I had previously set with management for the month of April, because hello, I took a maternity leave. I had assumed that going on leave would change the expectations because the circumstances certainly changed. But when I got an email from my boss last week asking if I was going to meet the deadline I realized I was mistaken. There has also been some miscommunication or confusion on whether or not I'm coming back. (Which I made sure was clear before I left. All of my co-workers are clear on it, but management keeps calling and asking, "Okay so what's the deal again?" And I have to reiterate what was previously agreed on.) And now because of the unmet expectations mentioned above, there's even talk of whether I "should" come back. The icing on the cake is that they've hired a new loan officer and I found out when I went into the office last week to work on a file for a couple of hours that they've given him my computer. They did put a slower, crappier, older one at my desk. When I asked about it the answer I got was along the lines of, "Well, we figured you're working from home right now and probably only going to be here part time, so this guy needed it more." So yeah, stress, stress, stress. And I was already dealing with confusion and emotion about whether to go back at all, (the original agreement had me going back part time and working mostly from home.) But I don't like the idea that I feel like I'm being pushed out because I chose to take a maternity leave and stay home with my son for a few weeks. Technically it could probably turn into a legal battle, but I'm not that desperate or vindictive. Besides, that wouldn't do me any good anyway and it would only burn bridges.
So that's the work stress. I finally decided I'd had enough today and dropped Gideon off at Nana's and went for a run. Not a long run, barely over a mile. But it felt good. It was the first time I've run outside since September. It wasn't really warm, but that's okay. I forgot how hard it is to run outside at this elevation. It's seriously difficult to breathe. Anyway tomorrow I'm going to go to a spinning class at the gym. Because I miss the gym.
I'm still stressed, but I'm finally tired enough that I think I just might be able to get some sleep tonight. At least I hope so. Gideon was awake for a good portion of the day so I'm hoping that means he'll sleep well too. (Although he usually does anyway.)
Thursday we're having some professional photos taken of Gideon. I know many of you who read my blog have an interest in photography, but as you can tell based on the snapshots of Gideon so far, I was not blessed with an eye for photography at all. So I'll leave that in the hands of a professional.
Well, I'll take some pics tomorrow. Lots of Love.
9 comments:
By law they have to give you that time off and your job should pick up where it left off when you return. Sounds to me like they are bending that, which is very unfortunate.
I'm sure you know this, but you have the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) on your side. You can find more info in it here:
http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/
good luck!
I'm with Corey...there's no need to burn bridges, the law will do that for you ;)
Cali, I had this happen (well similarly any way) Shortly after we lost David. They had hired someone to replace me durring my leave but when I came back earlier than expected(because there was no baby that I needed to care for at home)I found that my class room had been taken over (and rearranged)by the new "teacher" AND they put me in the INFANT room instead of with my pre-K kids! Needless to say, I didn't go back the next day. but I think that night have been their goal.
In hind-sight I can say that I think it was a blessing.
Good luck sweety!
Wow my only advice (and I am sure I don't need to tell you) is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. And don't forget all that "pray for what is best" and "pray for peace when you can't sleep". It really does work.
Wow. Thank you for posting your adoption story. We are in the waiting part of adoption, and it was so nice to know that the end does come, and even if it is crazy, it comes in the Lord's time and not ours. We found your blog, through a post you left on my brother and sister-in-laws blog. We have been waiting for over a year now, my brother just started his paperwork, and we have another brother who has just passed his two year mark waiting for their child. We are so happy that your miracle has happend. Congratulations!
Darwin and Melissa
Maui, HI
Has your company never worked with maternity leave before? Holy Inappropriateness! Hopefully the dust will settle soon and it all works out...
I forget you have your in-law's so close, wow, I am SO jealous! I have 2 brothers that live near me, but with traffic a 15 mile drive turns into an hour and by that time it's just not worth it to drop the kids off. Plus, almost all their kids are grown, so they have better things to do than watch my kids. SIGH!
Ok, well I would not worry about it, if you want to do some work from home that is fine, let them push you out a little, let it roll off your back and do such a good job from home that they regret it.
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